by Father Robert Lauder

Second in a Series

I FIND THE philosophy of existentialist personalist Gabriel Marcel very attractive. It speaks very much to my experience. For Marcel, hope, love and fidelity were important human acts that led a person into the realm of value, of what really matters, of what Marcel called the mystery of being. I find especially attractive what Marcel believed about love.

Marcel believed that when a person loves someone, the lover discovers that the beloved will live forever. In spite of what scientists or doctors might say, Marcel thought that love conquers death. I agree with this not only because of my Catholic faith but also because of my philosophy of person. If death were the end of the human person, then I think that I would have to conclude that life is absurd.

I think that there is a hint of eternity in every act of love. It is impossible to intend to love someone for a weekend. Whenever a person loves, the person intends to love forever. The words “I love you” have within them the implicit message that I will love you forever, as long as you are you, which is just another way of saying “forever.” In fact, it is possible to love someone only for a weekend, but that is not the lover’s intention when the lover loves. Though it is impossible to intend to love someone only for a weekend, it is possible to intend to use someone for a weekend or enjoy someone for a weekend.

I believe that loving benefits not only the person loved but also the person giving love. Loving liberates the lover to discover what non-lovers can never discover. While loving itself is not a way of knowing but rather a free self-gift of one person to another, this giving of self, as it were, takes the blinders off the lover and enables the lover to see in a new way, a way not accessible to those who do not love. One reality that the lover sees is that the beloved will survive death.

One reason why a husband or wife is so upset at the wake of his or her spouse is that the death of the loved one seems to contradict the whole experience of love. Whenever the husband and wife made love, they, at least implicitly, made promises for eternity. Death can seem to make those promises counterfeit. I believe that Marcel’s reflection on the mystery of love reveals that the promises were not counterfeit.

Two devout Catholic friends of mine, a married couple, regularly went out to dinner with two of their closest friends, two secular humanists who were also a married couple. The foursome often engaged in discussions about the existence of God and the existence of a life beyond the grave. The secular humanists insisted that there was no God or life beyond the grave. When Martha, the female secular humanist, died, my two friends went to the wake. Martha had been cremated, and an urn with her ashes was on the mantelpiece. My friends walked up to John, the widower, and said: “We have just come from Mass. We received the Body and Blood of Christ for you and Martha. We are praying for her and for you.” John said, “Thank you,” and then he paused for a few seconds and said, “Do you think what you believe might be the truth?” What was John saying? I think that he was saying, “It is impossible that all that is left of my wife is those ashes. In loving one another, we made promises for eternity. This cannot be the end.”

Of course, Marcel’s philosophical vision fits into Catholic belief perfectly. Catholics believe that death is conquered by the love of Jesus for the Father and for us. We believe that the Risen Christ is literally alive, not just in our memories but really alive. We believe that the Risen Christ lives in a new way, that He is no longer limited by time or space. We believe that the doctrine of the Resurrection is not merely wishful thinking but rather its truth speaks to our deepest needs and desires.

I think that Marcel’s philosophical vision of love is expressed in a profound way in every Eucharist. We celebrate Christ’s conquest over sin and death, and we celebrate as a community of love. We can experience God’s love for us in a profound way through the reception of the Body and Blood of Christ. Receiving Christ not only moves us closer to God but also closer to our brothers and sisters. The Eucharist is a cosmic act of love. It reaches out to all people and to all of creation. It is a magnificent “Thank You” for God’s love.

[hr]Father Robert Lauder, a priest of the Diocese of Brooklyn and philosophy professor at St. John’s University, Jamaica, writes a weekly column for the Catholic Press.[hr]