by Michael Rizzo

QUEENS VILLAGE — The most emotional embodiment of the themes of faith and family came at the end of the NYPD Brooklyn and Queens Holy Name Society’s 102nd Communion Breakfast on March 10. That’s when the family of retired Sgt. Paul Hargrove received a standing ovation after accepting the newly named award in his honor just days after the 77-year-old succumbed to 9/11-related cancer. 

The room of about 700 attendees was silent as Society president Sgt. Michael Ciota held back tears at the Queens Village reception while recounting Hargrove’s 34-year career, most of it with Squad 10 of the Emergency Service Unit (ESU), and his influence on the society. 

“He devoted his career to serving others,” Ciota said, pausing to catch his breath before the assembly of fellow police, Hargrove’s family, other honorees, Bishop Robert Brennan, and NYPD chaplains Msgrs. Robert Romano and David Cassato of the Diocese of Brooklyn. 

Before the ceremonies began, Ciota explained in an interview that the society’s board of directors decided to rename the Bishop Thomas Daily Memorial Award to honor Hargrove. It would recognize an NYPD member who reflects Jesus’ service, mercy, and courage in their police work or the work they do in the community they serve. 

“Paul embodied all those things,” Ciota said. 

In his public remarks, Ciota said when he told Hargrove the award would be named for him and he would be the first recipient, the 9/11 first responder’s reaction was, “Why me?” 

“The man loved the NYPD and his family,” Ciota continued. He described visiting Hargrove just a few days earlier when Hargrove was in home hospice care and that whenever the mention of family or the NYPD came up, Hargrove became “radiant.” 

Other NYPD and society members had other recollections of Hargrove. 

Det. Daniel White, who grew up attending Good Shepherd Church in Marine Park, has been on the board for 10 years. 

“He was always asking how could he help, on and off the job,” White said. He also recounted the death of his grandmother during the pandemic and how Hargrove sent him an email to remind White of his Catholic faith and how he would see his grandmother rise again. 

“To Paul, little things were important things,” he added. 

Retired detective and society board member Bill DeSantis has known Hargrove since the 1980s. 

“The Holy Name was a place where he practiced his faith,” DeSantis said. “When I was in the hospital, he was worried and thinking about me even though he was sick.” 

Sgt. Hargrove came from an NYPD family and followed his father onto the force. He grew up in Most Precious Blood Parish in Astoria, where he married his wife Marilyn, and they later lived in Our Lady of the Snows Parish in Floral Park. 

In 2021 he was diagnosed with cancer. He went into home hospice care just a few weeks before the Communion Breakfast. 

Hargrove was a Society member for 31 years and started serving on the board in 1995. He remained active in it even after his retirement from the force in 2009. 

“Being Catholic was an important part of his identity,” Hargrove’s son Paul said in a telephone interview a few days before his father passed away on March 8. 

The younger Hargrove remembered going to many society events with his father and saw how he engaged with other cops. 

“His faith dictated how he worked with people,” Hargrove said. “He wanted to treat others as you expect to be treated. He was humble, not looking for accolades.” 

He said his father saw the Holy Name Society as an opportunity to express his faith. 

“It was a connection to his faith and his work, and he did not feel you should hide it.” 

Sgt. Hargrove’s daughter Theresa recalled the strength of her father’s faith even on the Sundays he worked, in arranging for his men to go to Mass with him when they were not called into action. 

Holy Name Society past president and retired Sgt. Ed Conroy recalled Hargrove attending meetings even when he was sick. 

“He was always looking for ways to raise funds and help,” Conroy said. 

“He was in a tough unit,” Conroy added, describing Hargrove’s ESU work. “They always faced tough situations. But he brought the face of God to those situations. Anything he did, he brought calm.” 

Msgr. Romano, the spiritual director of the society, referred to Hargrove as he spoke to attendees about the NYPD and the society as a family. 

“Thank you for being a family,” he told the attendees, “and that’s what it comes down to in this job: family.”