WASHINGTON — Two very different days converge this year when Ash Wednesday falls on Valentine’s Day. 

The day of romance meeting up with the day of fasting starting the season of Lent is a rare thing. Researchers point out this has happened a few times in the 1900s: 1923, 1934, and 1945, and in this century, researchers at the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate said this overlap also happened in 2018 and will occur again in 2029 but that’s it for this century. 

They also point out that in 2096, Ash Wednesday will occur on Leap Day, Feb. 29, for the first time in the Church’s history, but that’s not anytime soon. 

Ash Wednesday is one of two days, along with Good Friday, that are obligatory days of fasting and abstinence for Catholic adults — meaning no eating meat and eating only one full meal and two smaller meals. 

Valentine’s Day, although named after the third-century martyr St. Valentine, has become more of a Hallmark tradition emphasizing romance, cards, chocolates, flowers, and nice dinners.

The saint is said to have been killed at the command of Emperor Claudius in the year 278 for marrying Christians at a time when the emperor was trying to recruit single men for the army. 

In some dioceses, bishops have granted dispensation from meat abstention when St. Patrick’s Day falls on a Friday in Lent, so when the question comes up, as it did six years ago, about possible Ash Wednesday dispensation from fasting because of St. Valentine’s Day, its seems that St. Valentine does not hold enough weight to move this decision.

There is not much known about St. Valentine and there are also mixed accounts of possibly three different martyrs named Valentine that share a Feb. 14 feast day. In fact, this confusion and overall lack of information led Church officials to remove the liturgical feast of St. Valentine from the general church calendar in the late 1960s. 

Now, on Feb. 14, the Catholic Church honors Sts. Cyril and Methodius, two brothers and missionaries born in present-day Greece. 

U.S. bishops so far have been quiet about this year’s Valentine’s Day-Ash Wednesday mashup, but six years ago several of them suggested that couples shift their Valentine’s Day celebrations to the day before Ash Wednesday, on Mardi Gras. 

Peter and Sheila Oprysko, leaders of the U.S. ecclesial team of Worldwide Marriage Encounter, told The Tablet that while they were on a retreat in late January, they asked other couples about how they planned to celebrate this year’s unique Valentine’s Day. 

Some said they planned to combine the day with service, to work together at a soup kitchen for example. Others said they would have a candlelight dinner, even for the simple Ash Wednesday meal, and would reflect on their vows and the commitment they made to each other. 

The couple, who live in the Archdiocese of Newark, stressed that cards were still top Valentine’s Day gifts and didn’t conflict with Ash Wednesday’s fasting rules. 

Sheila said she and her husband viewed the combined day this year as a blessing and they both stressed that Valentine’s Day didn’t need to be about grand romantic gestures but more about simple ways to cherish each other’s company. 

That has been the same idea for Katie Prejean McGrady and her husband, Tommy. McGrady is a speaker, author, host of The Katie McGrady Show on The Catholic Channel on Sirius XM and host of three podcasts. 

She told The Tablet that since she and her husband were dating, they have done “Sweatpants Valentines” where they wear comfortable clothes, order takeout from a favorite spot, and watch a movie or show together. 

“So, this year, we’re keeping that tradition alive, just moving it to the weekend after Valentine’s Day to accommodate for observing Ash Wednesday, which may end up working out better,” she said, pointing out that getting take-out on Valentine’s Day “usually takes forever!”

McGrady said she and her husband put less pressure on special days like Valentine’s Day noting that when expectations are high and not met, there can be disappointment. 

As she put it: “I prefer it when my husband sends me flowers or leaves a love note on my desk on a random Thursday, not necessarily the appointed ‘Feb. 14th day of showcasing romance.’”