By Tony Rossi
Since the suicide of his 29-year-old daughter Katie, who had bipolar disorder, Deacon Ed Shoener has made it his mission to reduce the stigma and misconceptions around mental illness in Church circles and to guide parishes in creating their own mental health ministries.
Katie’s bipolar first manifested itself when she was in high school, though she hid it well from her parents.
Their introduction to the problem occurred after she tried to commit suicide. Counseling and medication stabilized Katie once she received help, but every once in a while, she would fall prey to a bipolar episode. Katie managed her mental illness for more than a decade and was building a life for herself. Deacon Ed believes that her suicide was likely an impulsive choice made during a major depressive episode.
In the aftermath of her death, Deacon Ed wrote an obituary about what happened so that there wouldn’t be any “gossip or speculating” in their parish or small town of Scranton, Pennsylvania. That obituary went viral, shocking Deacon Ed, but also teaching him a vital lesson.
He said, “It spoke to what so many people with mental illnesses live with. The stigma, the discrimination, being defined by their illness. … I was open that [Katie] had this illness, but she wasn’t defined by this illness, and she’s a beautiful child of God, loved by Jesus Christ. … This viral response, for me, was almost a mystical experience, of so many people around the world saying that the Church needs … to start ministering to people that live with these illnesses and their families and their caregivers.”
This is especially important in light of the beliefs of some that mental illness can be prayed away with a stronger spiritual life. Deacon Ed noted, “This outdated notion that they have a mental illness because they don’t pray enough, that’s harmful … because people, often, with depression and anxiety, already the illness is telling them they’re not good enough.
To that end, Deacon Ed helped launch the Association of Catholic Mental Health Ministers, along with Bishop John Dolan from the Diocese of Phoenix, who lost three siblings and a brother-in-law to suicide.
They offer resources to parishes on ways to begin their own mental health ministries, as well as resources to individuals and families looking for prayers, community, books, and more.
“When Katie first experienced bipolar disorder,” recalled Deacon Ed, “we had no one to talk to. Now we encourage parishes to have support groups for the parents and caregivers, where they can come in and talk about this.”
Tony Rossi is the director of communications for The Christophers.
