by Father Robert Lauder
Although Christmas has passed and we have welcomed a new year, I find myself still thinking about Christmas and its meaning and its mystery. For several years I have noticed the large role memories play in my Christmas experience. I suppose everyone’s experience of Christmas changes from year to year and what our memories single out and focus on depends on many factors. This year my memories of childhood celebrations seemed especially vivid to me and also a bit different.
Every year as the great feast approaches Christmas melodies from the past enter my consciousness. I find myself singing them in my room and even when I am walking down some corridor and I notice that no one is within hearing distance. I would like to report that the songs that I sing or that my memory latches onto are religious hymns but they are not. Often the song is remembered in relation to some recording artist. One that frequently is brought up by my memory is Sinatra’s rendition of a song that begins with the words, “Oh, by gosh by golly, it’s time for mistletoe and holly.” Another is Bing Crosby’s rendition of Irving Berlin’s classic “White Christmas.”
What was different this year was that memories that were previously completely happy were tinged with just a touch of sadness. As Christmas approached I was reading a marvelous novel that dealt with the history of a family. As I read about the deaths of the family in the novel I thought about the deaths of so many of my loved ones, both family and friends.
My sister died almost 50 years ago, my father almost 40 years ago and my mother about 25 years ago. Not only did I think about my immediate family, but I also thought about many close friends who have died. I suspect that implicit in all these memories was some awareness that at some moment I will die. My Christmas experience this year probably has something to do with the aging process. So many of those with whom I celebrated in the past have died that I experience just a touch of sadness recalling what were very joy-filled events related to previous Christmas celebrations.
One of the best talks that I have ever heard was given by Msgr. James Coffey when he was teaching philosophy at the Seminary of the Immaculate Conception, Huntington. A tradition had grown up among seminarians that during the Advent season members of his philosophy class would ask him to give a reflection on Advent. All of us were looking forward to Christmas vacation. For many of us, the three months that we had spent in our first year at the seminary was the longest period that we had been separated from our families.
I don’t recall many of the points that Msgr. Coffey made, though at the time I thought it might have been the greatest talk I had ever heard. What I do recall clearly was that in reference to our celebration of Christmas, he said, “Don’t miss the point.” Knowing that during the vacation we would be trying to cram into two weeks what we missed during our first three months at the seminary, he was urging us to enter more deeply into the mystery of Christmas.
I find interesting, even amazing, that 60 years after his talk, that statement should come back to me. We must not miss the point of Christmas and of what we celebrate on Christmas. The meaning and mystery of Christmas can encompass all our memories, both joyful and sad, and give them richer and deeper significance. The Incarnation of the Son of God colors all human experience. The mystery of Christmas is not confined to Dec. 25. It makes every day different. Every day has a new importance because of the love God has for us, the love revealed in the feast of Christmas.
I am not certain why in preparing for Christmas, 2011, I experienced some memories that caused me to be sad but just a moment’s reflection reminded me that because of God’s love for us, even what seems sad can be looked at in a larger framework.
I think that it was Dom Abbot Marmion who wrote that joy is the echo of God’s life within us. There are many ways that we can experience Christmas. One of the best is with overwhelming joy.
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Father Robert Lauder, a priest of the Diocese of Brooklyn and philosophy professor at St. John’s University, Jamaica, writes a weekly column for the Catholic Press.
