Sept. 14, 2014 was a beautiful day at the Vatican. In St. Peter’s Basilica, the Holy Father, Pope Francis, celebrated Mass and officiated at the wedding of 20 different couples. It was appropriate that the pope performed these weddings on the Feast of the Holy Cross, reminding these brides and grooms that the living out of the married life can be difficult and “burdensome, and often, even nauseating.” It can be a cross, a burden, but the Cross of Christ is there to “sustain their love and to renew it when, humanly speaking, it becomes lost, wounded or worn out.”

It was also appropriate that a little before the Synod for the Family begins on Oct. 5 in the Vatican that Francis would officiate at weddings, for it is the love of husband and wife, united in the love of Christ exhibited in the sacrament of marriage that is the start of the family. Truly a beautiful day!

What, however, was reported in the majority of the press, on television, on radio, in the newspapers and on the Internet? That Pope Francis broke the rules, that he’s relaxing the Church’s laws and that he wishes to reinterpret the meaning of marriage for the Catholic Church! That this is just a preview of what will come out of the upcoming Synod!

The press, by and large, reported that it was very unique that some of the couples married on Sept. 14 had been cohabitating before their nuptials, that some were married before and divorced and had received the declaration of the invalidity of the sacrament of marriage (an annulment) prior to the celebration. As if this is a novelty! As if this is unique!

No, this is the lived experience of most of our priests and deacons who prepare couples for marriage. It doesn’t mean that the Church encourages cohabitation. It doesn’t mean that the Church encourages divorce. No, it is a sign that the pope recognizes that we live in a fallen world, a world that isn’t perfect, a world where people make mistakes and yes, even sin. The pope is demonstrating the necessity for mercy, the necessity of meeting people where they are and bringing them to where they should be. In the case of those who had received annulments, it is a beautiful testimony to the healing power of this pastoral process. It is the pope acting like Jesus – showing his love, his patience and his care. It is far from a radical move, with the exception that the officiant of the ceremony was the Supreme Pontiff.

The reaction of the majority of the press demonstrates once again the complete and total lack of understanding of the nature of the sacrament of marriage in the Catholic Church and what the expected outcomes will be in this 2014 Synod for the Family. This synod will be a gathering for discussion of some issues concerning marriage and family life. There will be no concrete resolutions made at this synod; these suggestions for praxis will come out of the 2015 continuation of the Synod for the Family.

We need to be careful that no agendas go into this upcoming synod and that our expectations are reasonable. The Church must always teach in accordance with the fonts of divine revelation, namely sacred Scripture and sacred tradition, as well as in accordance with natural law. Likewise, our synod fathers should be careful not to make any discussions that they have or any disagreements about pastoral practice become a source of scandal or examples of ad hominem attacks.

What the massive media attention given to these 20 marriages signify more than anything is that the world is watching the Church, waiting for guidance, starving for the message of truth. Now is not the time for public divisions. It is a time for debate and discussion, for prayer and penance. It is a time for respectful listening and thoughtful speaking. It is an age of mercy under the shadow and the glory of the Cross. Pray for the success of the synod and for the world’s reception of the teaching that will result. Listen to what is actually being said by the pope and the delegates of the synod, not what some people would like the pope or the synod delegates to be saying. Keep reading the actual documents of the synod and what the Catholic press reports.