by Father Patrick Longalong

A few years ago, I witnessed something in one of the many WhatsApp group chats I belong to for prayer groups and parish ministries. Someone had a serious concern about another member, but instead of speaking privately to that person, the concern was posted for everyone to see. What followed was a public lambasting of the individual, ending with a demand for a public apology.

Whatever legitimate concern may have existed was overshadowed by the way it was handled. Correction had become humiliation.

Today’s readings remind us that we do have a responsibility for one another. God tells Ezekiel that he has been appointed a “watchman” for Israel. But being a watchman does not mean becoming the police officer of everyone else’s life, constantly searching for faults and violations. That can quickly become oppressive.

A watchman looks out for danger because he cares about the people entrusted to him. There is a difference between vigilance motivated by love and fault-finding motivated by the desire to control.

There may certainly be occasions when correction must be visible.

A parent, pastor, teacher, employer, or civil authority sometimes has to enforce a rule consistently because ignoring a serious violation can suggest that the rule does not matter. An individual situation may therefore serve as an example to others. But there is an important distinction between setting an example and “making an example” of someone.

We should never humiliate or punish someone more severely simply to frighten others into obedience. Even when correction is necessary, the dignity and reputation of the person must remain important.

St. Paul gives us the principle that should guide us: “Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another.”

Before correcting someone, we should ask ourselves: Why am I doing this? Is it because I sincerely desire this person’s good and the good of the community? Or am I angry? Am I trying to embarrass someone, prove that I am right, or demonstrate my authority? Correction without love can easily become cruelty disguised as righteousness.

Jesus gives us an extraordinarily practical instruction in the Gospel: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.” Notice what Jesus does not say. He does not tell us to announce it to everyone else first. Today we might add: He does not say, “Put it in the group chat or Facebook.” Jesus begins with a private conversation that protects the dignity of the other person and leaves room for listening, explanation, conversion, and reconciliation.

And perhaps this is the challenge for us this week. There will always be faults in every family, parish, workplace, and community because every community is made up of imperfect human beings, ourselves included.

Our responsibility is not to police one another but to love one another enough to seek what is good. Sometimes love requires speaking; sometimes it requires listening; and sometimes it requires overlooking small imperfections.

May Christ, who promises to be present whenever two or three gather in his name, teach us to correct without humiliating, to listen without becoming defensive, and always to protect the dignity of the person standing before us.

Father Longalong is the pastor of St. Nicholas of Tolentine in Jamaica and coordinator of the Ministry to Filipino Immigrants.