By Jerry Rodriguez
MEG AND I recently got married on May 13. As we were going through some old pictures, we found a picture on Facebook of the two of us volunteering at a local parish. We were both dressed as saints: Mother Teresa and John Bosco.
As I saw this picture again, seeing my wife portraying a saint through her costume, it triggered in my mind that quote people jokingly say about their spouse: “You know what they say, my spouse is a saint maker for sure.”
Without a joke, that is the reason we said yes to our vocation. We believe that helping our spouse get to heaven is our God-given mission. We are truly hoping that by supporting each other, and being present to each other throughout our lives – during the highs and lows – we can contribute to the fulfillment of each other’s ultimate goal of sainthood.
The craziest part is that by doing this, surrendering for the other, we are sure the other is doing it as well, and doing so freely! It is beautiful to realize that by forgetting ourselves, we are able to fully care for each other.
Accepted For Who I Am
As we kept going through pictures, I saw some pictures that made me ask, “What did I think I was doing!?!” The interesting part is that my wife, who was at that time my best friend, already knew me and accepted me as I was. This brings me to realize that our vocation brings us joy through freedom. The sureness behind the idea that someone is freely, fully and unconditionally loving you is the most liberating thing ever.
I do not have to pretend to be someone else, only myself, and that allows me to love my wife and dedicate my life to her sincerely as I am. We also have found freedom by knowing that we are not perfect, and we simultaneously know that even in our imperfections, through the highs and even through the lows, our love for each other will still be there. God is the only one we trusted, trust and will trust, therefore we trust God on giving ourselves to each other as His perfect gift – and perfect means to experience His love for us.
A wise young adult once told me: “I have deep questions and doubts but I’m afraid to find the answers, because I know I will discover my vocation and God’s desired plan for me.”
Doubts Are Natural
This person articulated how I once felt while discerning marriage. My wife and I would say to anyone that if there are doubts, questions, uncertainty, insecurity, and the list goes on, but nonetheless trust is always present, then you are on the right path. If there are no questions in your discerning that means you are not thinking, reflecting and praying hard enough.
Never be afraid to ask the hard questions, but at the same time be proactive to find those hard answers. True honest discerning gives us direction and infinite motivation to fulfill with excellence who God calls us to be. And don’t be afraid to take a risk now and then.
My wife’s favorite quote is: “The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you!”
Trust in God and open your heart!
Jerry Rodriguez is the new faith formation director at Blessed Virgin Mary Help of Christians, Woodside, and his wife, Megan (nee Fraino) is a campus minister at St. John’s University.