By Msgr. Steven Ferrari

More than five years already have passed since Mom, Rose, moved into The Chelsea, an assisted living/nursing home in Central New Jersey. Even before Dad’s death six years ago, Mom was already showing signs of the dementia that necessitated her leaving the apartment she had shared with Dad for nearly a dozen years. They had moved to the Garden State from their beloved Brooklyn in order to be close to their only daughter, Acquilynne, the youngest of their four children, and to her growing family.

Mom’s memory and cognitive abilities have greatly diminished as the frightening disease of Alzheimer’s takes over her mind. Now when any of her children visit, she frequently knows us not. She always asks how my children are. I have long since given up reminding her that, as a Catholic priest, I have no progeny. Now I simply answer, “Everyone’s fine, Mom!”

Gone are the days when she used to proudly introduce me to everyone in the home: “This is my son, the priest.” Now she often doesn’t recognize me or know my name. She thinks I’m one of the workers there.

Mom does have her lucid moments occasionally, rare as they may be. And some of the exchanges can be quite humorous. Last Mother’s Day, when my sister visited her, Acquilynne remarked in a tender moment, “Mom, what a great mother you’ve been – the best!”

Mom turned to her daughter with a quizzical look and asked, “Well, I’m the only mother you’ve had, right?”

Mom always had a very close relationship with her own mother, who lived with us after Nonna was widowed at age 50. Several months ago, in a phone conversation with me, she asked me if I’d seen Nonna recently. (She died more than 20 years ago, a few months shy of her 99th birthday, and is buried in Calvary Cemetery. Her grave is just five short blocks from my rectory door.) I responded to Mom in the affirmative – of course, I’ve seen her. (Well, I do visit her grave regularly.)

Mom then instructed me to be in touch with her and says, “Tell her I love her and that they’re taking good care of me here.” I choked up on the other end of the line. What could I say?

As we celebrate Mother’s Day, we honor the women who gave us birth, nurtured us, cleaned us and fed us, taught us and have given us the freedom to go out on our own. So many memories flood my mind, especially of Mom as a younger woman. Though neither her mind nor her body is still the same, her inner spirit somehow is still there, as is her faith.

Without a doubt, Mom took very good care of her four children and eight grandchildren when she was able.

We are grateful and we honor her for being “the best!”

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Msgr. Steven Ferrari is the pastor of St. Teresa’s parish, Woodside.