National News

Love Over Stigma: ‘The Blessing’ of Raising a Child With Down Syndrome

The Alberstadt kids — Eleanor, 4, Joseph, 1, and Eileen, 3 — get along beautifully, said their dad.

BLOOMFIELD, N.J. — Keith Alberstadt is a stand-up comedian who has appeared on television shows like “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” and “Late Night with Seth Meyers,” and left audiences rolling in the aisles in venues nationwide.

However, beyond the world of comedy, Keith and his wife Leslie — a former television producer who is now a stay-at-home mom — have embarked on a more serious mission. 

The Catholic couple, who live in Bloomfield, New Jersey, are working to erase the stigma around children with Down syndrome. It’s a mission particularly important to them because their middle child, Eileen, is a 3-year-old with the condition.

The Alberstadts are attempting to combat the stigma by sharing their story publicly and serving as a sounding board for other parents. 

“We have this vision of the way things are going to go, and it doesn’t go that way, but somehow it’s still OK,” Leslie said. “That’s where God comes in. … You see he has bigger plans.” 

The couple recalled how medical professionals treated their daughter’s diagnosis.

Leslie and Leith Alberstadt smiled when they were given pictures of their baby daughter Eileen from a sonogram, but the couple recalled that medical professionals treated the fact that their little girl had Down syndrome like a tragedy.

“They acted as if it was a tragedy. They felt sorry for us,” Keith said. “There is a negative connotation of that diagnosis, and it leads people down that path of doom and gloom, but nothing could be further from the truth.”

Reflecting on the disheartening attitude they encountered at medical appointments, the Alberstadts can’t help but smile because of the joy Eileen has brought to their lives. 

“If Eileen didn’t have Down syndrome, she wouldn’t be Eileen, and she’s more perfect than we could have ever imagined,” Leslie said. “She lights up the room. She can melt a heart of stone. You could see the hardest-looking person walking down the street, and all of a sudden, they’re blowing kisses back at her.” 

Eileen’s condition was first detected when Leslie had a test at 12 weeks of her pregnancy to learn if she was having a boy or a girl. She still remembers the call from her doctor where she learned there was a 90% chance the baby would have Down syndrome. 

At age three, Eileen Alberstadt is a lively child who puts a smile on the face of everyone she meets, her parents say.

“It was a sad phone call. There were no congratulations. Nothing. I do remember that she did use the word ‘terminate’ in that phone call,” Leslie recalled, noting the doctor was so focused on Down syndrome that she forgot to tell her the baby’s gender. 

“And then, as she was hanging up the phone, I said, ‘Wait! What’s the gender?’ She had to flip through her paperwork for a minute to see,” Leslie recalled.

According to National Institutes of Health statistics, approximately one in 700 children in the United States are born with Down syndrome. 

While the Alberstadts said no one pressured Leslie to have an abortion, medical professionals were surprised to learn they planned to carry the pregnancy to term. 

Today, the Alberstadts are grateful to have Eileen.

“It is an absolute blessing to have a child in our life with Down syndrome,” Keith said. 

Eileen gets along beautifully with her two siblings, 4-year-old sister Eleanor and 1-year-old brother Joseph, according to Keith: “The kids are so perfect together.”

Throughout their eight-year marriage, the Alberstadts said they rely on faith to get through tough times, like when Eileen underwent heart surgery at 4 months old. 

It was religion that also brought the couple together. Keith, who is originally from Nashville and moved to New York to pursue his comedy career, and Leslie, who grew up in Bloomfield, met at a Theology on Tap event, where Catholics gather in relaxed atmospheres like bars and restaurants to discuss religion.

During the early years of their marriage, the couple lived in Queens and attended Immaculate Conception Church in Astoria, where Keith served as a lector, and Leslie was a Eucharistic minister. Although they moved to Bloomfield a few years ago, they are still close to its pastor, Msgr. Fernando Ferrarese.

Keith often uses family life as the subject of his comic routines. 

“What I love is that when Keith is speaking on stage about having a child with Down syndrome, people are messaging him, emailing him, and coming up to him after shows,” Leslie said. 

“There’s an instant connection, ” Keith added. “It’s like an instant bond that is made because we’re all in that community. And it’s an incredible community.”