By Rev. Mr. Jose Diaz
Six years ago, I entered the minor seminary at Douglaston for the Diocese of Brooklyn. It took me five years to respond to the call that I felt in my heart. I was 23 years old and the one desire I had was to do God’s will in my life.
I trusted in the Lord and applied to seminary, hoping that my prayers would be answered. I had just graduated college. The transition into seminary life was not tough in terms of studies, but it was a new experience. I now had formation advisers watching my every step, checking to see if I was fit to continue in seminary formation and if this was truly my vocation. I thought I was being evaluated at every moment.
We had a schedule we had to follow and classes we had to take. My first impression was that it would be tough for me to endure in the seminary because it felt like someone was always watching me.
Growing in Holiness
As I progressed in seminary formation, I realized that I was there to grow in holiness. I had to be open to what God wanted for me, and if that meant leaving seminary, then that would be fine. I had to approach my formation with freedom. It was only then that I was able to look at myself interiorly and invite Jesus to mold my heart to be the man He wanted me to be. This meant looking at my strengths and weaknesses and offering them to the Lord, trusting that He called me to be His disciple, knowing my limitations and weaknesses.
I realized that the formation faculty was the way the Church confirmed my vocation and that they simply wanted to help me realize God’s call for me. They saw my limitations and challenged me to grow in those areas.
My pride and ego were what got in the way of me accepting that I am not perfect. I learned to trust that the Lord was guiding me, and through seminary formation, He was forming me.
My experience has been that seminary formation is like being on an operating table. We completely expose ourselves to God and His Church, allowing the Holy Spirit to form us into men of mercy. I am very thankful for my time in seminary formation. It was there that I discovered myself and fell in deeper love with Jesus and His Church.
Deacon Diaz is a transitional deacon preparing for ordination to the diocesan priesthood in June.
