HOWARD BEACH — Coleen and Chris Bucca have been married for 39 years, and if you ask them for their secret to wedded bliss, they will point to what they consider the third party in their marriage — Jesus Christ. 

The Buccas said they firmly believe that putting God at the center of their marriage has strengthened their relationship. And that’s the advice they shared with other couples at Our Lady of Grace in Howard Beach during the church’s Couples Mass on March 4. 

RELATED: Local Couples Say ‘I Do’ in One Sacred Ceremony at St. Mary’s Winfield

During a presentation he and his wife gave at the Mass, Chris Bucca pointed to the marriage of Jesus’ parents, Mary and Joseph, and to the fact that Joseph married Mary even though she was expecting a child. “Their marriage shows that trust in God strengthens trust in each other,” he said. 

The Couples Mass, a brainchild of Father Dominick Dellaporte, pastor of Our Lady of Grace, is designed to help couples grow in faith as they grow in love. 

The Mass takes place on the first Wednesday of the month and is open to couples of all types — whether married, engaged, or dating. Our Lady of Grace Church has been celebrating a monthly Couples Mass since January. 

“We started it, and it seemed to take off,” Father Dellaporte said. “The whole idea was to create a community where couples can find solace and comfort by talking to other couples, and maybe help couples who are going through a difficult time. And married couples can show engaged couples and dating couples what marriage is really like.” 

Trust, communication, and a willingness to work at the relationship are keys to a good marriage, according to Coleen Bucca, who added that those things come with God’s help.  

“It is really honest communication, patience, and making a daily decision to love and not just waiting for a feeling,” she explained. “Love is not just something that happens to you. It is a decision you make.” 

The Couples Mass comes at a time when marriage rates are declining in the U.S. According to the Census Bureau, fewer than half (47%) of U.S. households were headed by a married couple in 2025. That is a far cry from 50 years earlier, in 1975, when a married couple headed 66% of households. 

And 34.8% of people 15 (the legal age in two states — Hawaii and Kansas) and older in the U.S. have never been married, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. 

Lindsay Papalardo and her boyfriend, Lenny Sinisgalli, have been dating for a year and have attended all the Couples Masses. 

They feel they are learning important lessons from the married couples in their midst, particularly the need to focus on God, Sinisgalli said. 

“It’s important to keep Christ at the center of every, but especially a romantic relationship,” he said, “because as Christ said, ‘Apart from me, you can do nothing.’ So, for a relationship to be successful and to bear fruit, it needs to be centered in Christ.” 

RELATED: Flatbush Couple Celebrates 50 Years of Marriage Built on Prayer and Catholic Tradition

Papalardo and Sinisgalli, who met in church, pray together every morning, an activity they feel brings them closer to each other and to God. 

“We are Christ-centered people. We go to church together every week,” Papalardo said. “We want to serve God as a couple, so God is very much a part of this relationship.” 

During their presentation, the Buccas said the marriage of Mary and Joseph sets a fitting example for all couples. 

“Their relationship teaches us that marriage is more than romance,” Chris Bucca said. “It is a vocation.” 

And that’s why God should be at the heart of it, according to Father Dellaporte. “Marriage is a divine institution,” he added. “It needs not only human help, but it needs divine intervention.”