by Antonina Zielinska

In the days leading up to marriage, I tried to ready myself for how my relationships would change. Who would I be now as a daughter or a professional?

What I had not considered was my own relationship with God. My husband and I took Pre-Cana seriously and we asked for God’s help in our marriage. But I did not think of how the dynamic of my own personal relationship to God would change.

Before marriage, I had come to understand my relationship to God as one of creature and woman. I had a personal relationship with God. What I learned in family life is the “Our” aspect of the Lord’s Prayer.

As I entrusted not only my life in the Lord’s care but that of my whole family, I started to understand better the concept of God the Father. For me, he has truly become the patriarch figure of our family, especially when he entrusted us with two of his beloved children.

As all humans, my husband and I fall very short of perfection. In all honesty, we are ill-equipped to be parents. But that is okay.

No matter how much pressure may fall upon us from mommy blogs, experts, family and other well-meaning people, it’s ultimately not up to us. We do not bear the sole responsibility to create the perfect nurturing home for our beloved children. That would be impossible.

What we are is simple and sinful humans, a team really, who together tries to stay on God’s path. Even there we fall. But we are not doomed to stay in our own misery. We have the Creator of the universe, the One who made the galaxies and the atoms, on our side. He is the Good Father that always takes care of the family. We just have to put in the effort. We have our downs. A lot of them. But they do not define us. Love does, an ever changing love.

Change can be difficult. I was reminded of these when I had to step out of church on a recent Sunday. My babies couldn’t sit still any longer. I missed adoration. I was sad to not be able to participate in the meditation before the King of the Universe inside of the church. I realized the King and I don’t have as many face-to-face talks as we used to. I missed the intimacy.

Then I realized. Not only was I outside on a gorgeous day given to us by God with my two beloved ones, I had within me that which I yearned to encounter. I had received Communion. The God I had hoped to face was resting by my own heart. What could be more intimate than that? I simply had to acknowledge His presence and adore Him.

My sadness turned to joy. God wasn’t asking me to give up my time with Him. He stepped out with me for a family stroll on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.