by Lucia A. Silecchia
I was visiting a parish not my own when a young girl of about 5 greeted me. With a shy smile and the quiet encouragement of her family, she gave me a hand-colored greeting card welcoming me to her parish. I do not know if this card-making was a class project of the parish school or a friendly initiative of her family. But I do know that the petite young doyenne of the second pew truly made me feel at home. She signed the card “your friend,” followed by her name in big block letters.
I still have that card tacked on my bulletin board. It reminds me of a happy day when a young sister in Christ warmly welcomed me to our Father’s house. It also prompts me to ask how I could and should do the same.
This seems like the perfect time of year to ask that question. As September turns to fall, we may — if we are fortunate — see unfamiliar faces in our pews. Families who have moved before a new school year begins may be settling into new parishes. Graduates from the class of 2025 may be moving to new cities to launch their careers. Summer brides and grooms may be settling into new homes to start their lives together. University students are descending on college towns, hopefully seeking new spiritual homes. As unsettled times leave many on the move, they may be joining new parish communities. In those sad situations where long-standing parishes have closed, leaving parishioners spiritually homeless, they may be seeking the embrace of a new family under a cloud of deep loss.
As newcomers settle into our parishes, what do they find when they arrive?
It is easy to ask what the parish is doing. Is there outreach to newly registered parishioners? Are there welcome dinners for new families? Is there a hospitality committee that extends a personal welcome? Are there welcome packets and ministry fairs that acquaint new parishioners with parish activities and opportunities so they can become involved in parish life?
All of these are important questions, well worth asking and answering.
Yet, before that, I have to ask myself what I can do to welcome others to my parish family. I may be well past the age when I can hand newcomers a crayon sketch of a flower as they come into church. (Although I must admit that would be one way to meet people.) Yet, there are many other things I can do to make sure that those who are joining me at my parish for the first time know that they are welcome.
My young friend’s card prompts me to ask questions like:
Do I notice when there is someone I have not met before and offer a greeting when I can? At parish events, do I spend most of my time with those I already know, while those who know no one sit alone?
Do I offer a look of sympathetic joy when families come with their young children — knowing the effort it took them to get to Mass, and the unease they may feel about noisy toddlers? On the other end of the age spectrum, how welcoming am I to my elders who have struggles of their own when they make their way to Church?
Do I ever do anything that makes newcomers feel as though they are outsiders in a private club where everyone else already knows each other?
If I am leading an activity, do I welcome or invite newcomers to join in or, even, take over, so that they too become full participants in the parish community?
Do I take the time to introduce newcomers to parish staff, clergy, or others whose acquaintance they may welcome?
I have always been blessed to know the warm joy of a hometown parish where my grandparents worshipped. I know the comfort of coming home, where there are still a few people who remember when I was a toddler squirming in those pews. I never felt like a newcomer in the place where I was baptized.
But when I lived away from my hometown for school or work, I discovered what it is like to be an outsider seeking a new family and a new spiritual home. I also discovered that it is not always easy. What made all the difference were the simple kindnesses of those who welcomed me home. To those who welcomed a stranger in their midst, I am grateful.
I am also grateful for a card with scribbled flowers drawn by a young girl who knows that the joy of gathering in the house of God is even more joyful when those who are new are embraced in a loving welcome.
Thanks, my friend, for a good example and for a loving welcome in ordinary time.
Lucia A. Silecchia is a professor of law at the Catholic University of America.