by Veronica Szczygiel
Polish tradition states that when the first star appears in the sky on Christmas Eve, the family can commence their holiday feast.
Growing up in New York City, it was sometimes difficult to find that first star among the glow of streetlamps, window lights, and the bright moon. Is that an airplane or a star? My older sister and I would wonder, pressing our hands and faces to the window, staring at the small bead of light to decipher whether it moved or stood still.
Our parents would have us begin the meal regardless, because whether you could see the star or not, it was there, like God.
But before we could commence our delicious feast, we shared the opłatek.
The opłatek is a flat, thin wafer similar to Communion hosts. The opłatek, however, has not been sanctified into Jesus’ body, so it is alright to eat and share outside of Mass. The wafers are thin rectangles with beautiful Christmas scenes “stamped” in them. Distributed in a pack, each set contains white wafers, save for one, which is pink.
The pink opłatek is traditionally shared with your pets, to symbolize the animals that were with Mary and Joseph during Jesus’ birth. During the season of Advent, churches with Polish congregations bless packs of opłatek and distribute them after Masses.
Everyone around the Christmas table receives an entire rectangular wafer, and then the tradition begins. We are to meet with each person individually and express to them a blessing for Christmas and the New Year. Blessings include overall hopes such as good health and happiness, and are also personalized to the individuals and their situation: “I hope you get that job you wanted,” for example, or “I hope you recover well from your surgery.”
The more specific the wish or blessing, the more we show that we truly know and care for that person in our family. We also share how proud we are of each other, how blessed we are to have them in our lives, and how much we love them.
If there is a need to ask for or to give forgiveness, sharing the opłatek is the opportunity to do so. Conversations are private and profoundly meaningful; many happy tears are shed just by saying “I love you.”
In this exchange, each person breaks off a piece of the other’s opłatek to consume. It’s as if we’re all sharing pieces of ourselves with each other, pieces of our very hearts and souls. I can only imagine that’s how Jesus must have felt when he was sharing his own body and blood during the last supper.
Our families shrink and grow with time; they change. Yet, some things always stay the same: Our love for each other and our faith in God. And the Christmas opłatek.
I encourage you to try this beautiful tradition in your own families this Christmas. From my family to yours, Wesołych Świąt Bożego Narodzenia! Merry Christmas!
Veronica Szczygiel, PhD., is the Director of Online Learning at the Graduate School of Education at Fordham University.