by Father Alonzo Cox
My very last summer job in the seminary before I was ordained a transitional deacon was at St. John’s Cemetery in Middle Village, New York. St. John’s Cemetery is truly one of the most beautiful and ornate cemeteries in our city. It is a place of serenity and prayer where the faithful can pray for the souls of their loved ones. I worked in the office of the cemetery, mostly filing, computer data entry, answering phones, and helping with grave locations.
On my lunch break, I would walk the grounds of the cemetery. I was enamored with the beautiful gothic headstones, some of which were artistically adorned with saints and angels. Very recently, mausoleums were built for the interment of ashes. Almost every day during my lunch break walks, I would notice a woman visiting a particular grave. There was no headstone yet, and it was freshly dug at the time, so it was clear that this was a recent interment. She would come, by herself, at around the same time almost every day. On one occasion, she just began to weep bitterly at the grave.
My reaction as a seminarian and soon-to-be deacon and priest was to console. I went over to ask her if she was OK and if there was anything I could do. She told me that the grave was her husband’s, who had just died a few weeks ago. They had just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. Although he was sick, she told me that she never thought he would die. After weeks of us meeting at his grave and telling her that my summer job was coming to an end, she told me something very profound. She said, “Grief is not about the anger of losing someone in death, but gaining peace in the joy of eternal life.”
Death can bring feelings of anger, particularly toward God. Questions arise about why this had to happen and all the circumstances around it. For us, though, as disciples of the risen Lord, death is not the end. The Lord has gone to prepare a place for us, that is, our Father’s house. It is in our Father’s house that we will bask in the joy of eternal life, which is promised to us by Jesus himself.
Today, we commemorate the souls of the faithful departed — known as All Souls’ Day. How beautiful it is that this commemoration falls on a Sunday this year. It is on this day that we pray for those who have died but have not yet fully entered the heavenly kingdom. We pray for those souls which have gone before us, marked with the sign of faith. It is our prayers that will bring these souls into the kingdom of heaven. We gather on All Souls’ Day to remember those loved ones who, although they are not with us physically, remain spiritually embedded in our minds and hearts.
We are reminded in the Book of Wisdom that the souls of the just are in the hands of God and no torment shall touch them. Although their death may have seemed shocking or unreal, they are at peace. It is that peace we are praying for today. It is the peace of their souls that we pray will come upon them as they make their way to the kingdom.
St. Paul, in his Letter to the Romans, speaks to us about the newness of life. We are united with Jesus in his resurrection. If we have died with Christ, we shall live with him for all eternity. This is our reality as witnesses of Christ, to hold on to in love and hope.
Jesus reminds us in the Gospel from St. John that everyone who believes in him will have eternal life. The Lord promises that to us. Jesus looks on us with eyes of mercy and love. It is through the infinite love of the Father that we who remain here on earth are given the strength and courage to continue the mission of spreading the good news by the example of our lives. As we continue to pray for our beloved dead, let us call on the Holy Spirit to comfort us in our grief that we may gain peace in the joy of eternal life. Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace.
Father Alonzo Cox is pastor of St. Martin de Porres Parish, Bedford-Stuyvesant, and coordinator for the vicariate of Black Catholic Concerns for the Diocese of Brooklyn.