Bereavement Supplement 2016

Through Story of Personal Loss, Anglican Priest Helps Others

p The Rev. Michael Lapsley is founder of the Institute of Healing of Memories. He is pictured at the Franciscan Renewal Center in the Phoenix area. (Photo: Catholic News Service/Nancy Wiechec)
The Rev. Michael Lapsley is founder of the Institute of Healing of Memories. He is pictured at the Franciscan Renewal Center in the Phoenix area. (Photo: Catholic News Service/Nancy Wiechec)

By Nancy Wiechec

PHOENIX (CNS) — The Rev. Michael Lapsley knows a lot about loss and redemption.

The Anglican priest and missionary to South Africa was critically wounded by a letter bomb while opening his mail in Zimbabwe in 1990. The blast severed both his hands. He lost an eye, his eardrums were shattered and shrapnel was embedded in his chest.

In the trauma he said he felt God’s presence. And with support, he began his journey of healing.

“For the first four months, I was as helpless as a newborn baby. I could do nothing for myself,” he recalled. “But the prayer, the love, the support from people across the world helped me to make my bombing redemptive … to bring life out of death, good out of evil.

“My own story was acknowledged, reverenced, recognized by people across the world. And I realized if I was filled with hatred and bitterness and desire for revenge, that I would be a victim forever.”

The priest said he was attacked because of his dedication to a fully integrated South Africa, where he had been a university chaplain. He had been exiled from the country for his anti-apartheid convictions, but was targeted for speaking out against government sanctioned segregation.

Following his recovery, he returned to post-apartheid South Africa, and he saw a nation damaged by the conflict.

“We were damaged by what we’d done. By what had been done to us. By what we failed to do,” he said.

He also came to realize that everyone had a story to tell.

“Everyone carried stuff,” he said, “because of the journey the nation had traveled, no matter what side we were on.”

‘Safe and Sacred Spaces’

To help people with their suffering, he created “safe and sacred spaces” where people could begin to deal with hurts by sharing their stories with others who had first-hand understanding of the circumstances.

He called the process the “healing of memories.” The aim was to discover and celebrate what is life giving and put aside what is destructive.
Since forming the Institute for Healing of Memories, Rev. Lapsley’s work has gained worldwide attention.

In 2012 Orbis Books published his memoir, “Redeeming the Past: My Journey From Freedom Fighter to Healer.”

“Pain unites human beings,” the priest said in the forward of his book.

“In my work as a healer, many people say they can trust me because I know pain,” he wrote. “In the end, though, what matters most is whether we are able to transform pain into a life-giving force.”

In the U.S., Healing of Memories workshops are held for veterans of war in at least five states: Arizona, California, Hawaii, Minnesota and New York. Several churches are also involved in the program.

The Franciscan Renewal Center, located in the Phoenix area, offers space and resources to host the workshops. Veterans come twice a year to attend them and the center has secured funding for the program so that veterans can attend for free.

“Whether a war has been a totally unjust war, or a justified war, war damages human beings,” Rev. Lapsley said. “And the fact that people get ill because of what they’ve been part of is not a sign that they’re crazy. It’s a sign of the fullness of their humanity.”

Editor’s Note: For additional information on the Institute for Healing of Memories in North America, visit www.healing-memories.org.