Erika and Paul Cerni in their longtime parish, Holy Child Jesus Church in Richmond Hill. (Photo: Alicia Venter)
RICHMOND HILL — At about midnight on Feb. 3, 2023, Erika Cerni felt her daughter rapidly moving in her stomach. Only 31 weeks pregnant, she thought the feeling was Braxton Hicks, or “false labor,” contractions, or maybe the girl was just hungry.
She never thought she would be in the hospital five hours later, rushed into an emergency cesarean section and having her daughter stillborn.
It’s been nearly one year since the loss of her daughter, the worst day in Erika’s life, and the baby’s funeral, which is the worst day in her husband Paul Cerni’s life.
To find strength after the loss of their daughter, Mariana Isabel Cerni, the two Catholics turned to their parish community, finding support from Holy Child Jesus Church in Richmond Hill.
“We are all prepared for loss, but we typically think we are going to bury our parents, maybe our siblings,” Erika said. “You don’t ever think you are going to buy your child.”
For couples like Erika and Paul, a Mass of Remembrance is being held at the Co-Cathedral of St. Joseph in Prospect Heights on Friday, Feb. 2, at 7 p.m. Those who have suffered great loss are invited to this Mass, to be celebrated on the feast of the Presentation of the Lord. Father Christopher Heanue, rector of the co-cathedral, will be the celebrant.
“I’ve seen in Paul and Erika’s life, and in so many countless others who have suffered great losses in their lives, how they gain strength through prayer and from the Eucharist,” Father Heanue said.
“Our hope is to use this opportunity as a chance for more families and more people who have suffered losses in their lives to find strength from the community.”
There were no indications that there was anything wrong with Erika’s pregnancy during the first two trimesters. As such, they did all the traditional things expecting parents do: a baby reveal, a baby shower, and preparing the nursery. Besides perishables, they still have all the gifts from the baby shower at their home, keeping the supplies in hopes they can have another child.
It was discovered that Erika had a placenta abruption, a condition in which the placenta separates from the wall of the uterus before birth. The medical condition happens over time and has a 10% prenatal mortality rate, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.
In total, around 21,000 babies are born stillborn in the United States each year, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention.
Paul and Erika named their daughter Mariana before the stillbirth. The name is derived from the Virgin Mary and Saint Anne, to whom Erika has a special devotion and who is her patron saint.
The couple have been parishioners at Holy Child Jesus in Richmond Hill for years, having first met one another at the church. They are both heavily involved in the Diocese of Brooklyn: Paul is the operations manager & pastoral initiatives associate for the co-cathedral, and Erika works in the tuition office for Holy Child Jesus Catholic Academy. They have been married for a year and a half.
Their faith and involvement in the Church gave the couple the strength they desperately needed after this tragedy. Despite their loss, their faith never wavered.
“I personally had a very deep feeling of gratitude for God. I appreciate everything God has done much more now. … Also, I appreciated very much what Erika went through because that was very difficult for her physically and emotionally, but she got through it,” Paul said.
The entire parish was excited for their baby, Erika said, adding that Mariana was “Richmond Hill’s baby.” After the stillbirth, the community came together, trying to find any way they could to support Paul, who has been part of Holy Child Jesus for over 30 years, and Erika.
The community “really came out big time,” Paul said, adding how they collectively prayed for the couple. The community decided to cook for the Cernis, providing all the fresh meals for the couple for two months.
“I thought it was a moment of grace for all of us to think about life, to think about the meaning of family, to think about the grace of God that is needed to keep that family together,” said Auxiliary Bishop Emeritus Octavio Cisneros, who presided over Paul and Erika’s wedding and the Mass held following Mariana’s death. He currently resides in Holy Child Jesus Church.