PROSPECT HEIGHTS — At about midnight on Feb. 3, 2023, Erika Cerni felt her daughter rapidly moving in her womb. Only 31 weeks pregnant, she thought the feeling was Braxton Hicks, or “false labor,” contractions, or maybe the girl was just hungry.
She never thought she would be in the hospital five hours later, rushed into an emergency cesarean section and having her daughter stillborn.
“We are all prepared for loss, but we typically think we are going to bury our parents, maybe our siblings,” Erika said. “You don’t ever think you are going to bury your child.”
The Cerni family was one of dozens at the Mass of Remembrance celebrated at the Co-Cathedral of St. Joseph in Prospect Heights on Friday, Feb. 2 — a day before what would have been their daughter’s birthday.
The Mass was organized for members of the diocese who have suffered the loss of an infant to come together. Those babies, Father Christopher Heanue told the attendees, are angels.
“This is not some kind of fluffy theology. This is the truth. They are our angels,” Father Heanue, the rector of the co-cathedral, said.
During the Mass, which the Cerni family helped organize and which was celebrated in both Spanish and English, Father Heanue lit a candle and read the name of each child being remembered during the celebration. Placing each in front of the altar, he lit candles for more than 70 children.
“We pray for a culture of life in our society. When families who wish to bring the love of a child into their homes but can’t, and others who can but don’t want to,” Father Heanue told the congregation.
“We pray for the dignity of all human life to continue to increase in recognition of that great blessing — the blessing that you and I are created perfectly in God’s image and in God’s likeness.”
The Mass of Remembrance fell on the same day as the feast of the Presentation of the Lord, which recalls the act of the Virgin Mary and Joseph presenting Jesus at the Temple in Jerusalem.
This feast is also known as Candlemas and includes the blessing of statues of the Baby Jesus, and is celebrated widely in many Hispanic communities. As such, Father Heanue blessed the statues brought by parishioners to the co-cathedral, the congregation of which is primarily Hispanic.
Gloria Rodriguez, who attended the Mass with her family, was moved by the blessings. Having brought a few statues with them, Rodriguez shared that her family has endured the death of infants in their lives, and the Mass served as a time to remember them.
“It’s just a nice time to spend with family as well. Family is important,” she said. “We didn’t give our babies names, but we do have family members who went through that, and it’s painful. It’s very nice that this Mass happened in this way.”
In total, around 21,000 babies are born stillborn in the United States each year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. For the Cerni family, it was discovered that Erika had a placenta abruption, a condition in which the placenta separates from the wall of the uterus before birth. The medical condition happens over time and has a 10% prenatal mortality rate, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.
Both Paul and Erika are heavily involved in the Diocese of Brooklyn: Paul is the operations manager and pastoral initiatives associate for the co-cathedral, and Erika works in the tuition office of Holy Child Jesus Catholic Academy. Paul played a key role in organizing the Mass at the co-cathedral, where he served as a reader.
“I personally had a very deep feeling of gratitude for God. I appreciate everything God has done much more now,” Paul said. “Also, I appreciated very much what Erika went through because that was very difficult for her physically and emotionally, but she got through it.”
Paul and Erika named their daughter Mariana Isabel Cerni before the stillbirth. The name is derived from the Virgin Mary and St. Anne, to whom Erika has a special devotion and who is her patron saint.
To find strength after the loss of their daughter, the Catholic couple turned to their parish community, finding support from Holy Child Jesus Church in Richmond Hill, where they met and have been parishioners for years. Despite their loss, they said, their faith never wavered.
The community “really came out big time” after the stillbirth, Paul said. They decided to cook for the Cerni’s, providing all the fresh meals for the couple for two months.
“I thought it was a moment of grace for all of us to think about life, to think about the meaning of family, to think about the grace of God that is needed to keep that family together,” said Auxiliary Bishop Emeritus Octavio Cisneros, who presided over Paul and Erika’s wedding and the Mass celebrated following Mariana’s death.