by Anne Zuschlag
I have always been a bit of a wordsmith. The implication, perception, and simple choice of a word fascinates me.
Over the past 15 years, the word “cancer” has not only changed the way I move through my world; it has also rearranged my lexicon.
My initial breast cancer diagnosis in 2011 introduced me to a wealth of scientific terms, while drastically changing the primary definition of words already in my vocabulary.
“Advanced” became a sensitive replacement for a more frightening notion, whereas before it was a positive measure of achievement.
“Unremarkable” became a desired quality, rather than a lackluster adjective.
“Trials” became opportunities.
“Friends” became cheerleaders.
“Science” became essential.
“Community” became family.
“Work” became purpose.
“Faith” became hope and “family” became everything.
I will never underestimate the role research and advancement have played in my health story. If you get cancer, New York City is the best place to be.
My medical “care team” is bright, caring, and responsive. My oncologist welcomed me as her first patient when I moved my case to her facility, and I have never regretted the decision.
We have met once a month for 14 years. Through treatment courses, disease progression, and beautifully mundane life experiences, “doctor” became something more.
While my work, like that of so many, can some days be exhausting, it is also restorative.
As principal of Our Lady Queen of Martyrs Catholic Academy in Forest Hills, I have the unique opportunity each day to be of service and be uplifted by a community of faith. The families we are blessed to partner with each have their own joys and sorrows. We work together to reshape dreams and expectations to meet the needs of the very real young people in front of us rather than the ideal imagined for them.
Staff, children, and their families are inspirational in their resilience, openness, and commitment despite obstacles.
Our care for each other is deep, because it is rooted in faith.
Through the assistance of a school family and the Order of Malta, I was able to participate in a pilgrimage to Lourdes.
The opportunity not only affirmed my devotion to the Blessed Mother but also created a wonder in the universality of the Church and awe in the relentless need to believe. I am human in my frailty, but to paraphrase St. Paul, I am what I am, and with God’s grace it is enough.
I hope to be a witness that crosses can be carried, but they don’t need to be carried alone. “Servitude” has become freedom.
Everyday side effects of medication and progression can make life challenging, but I am forever grateful for the gift of my family, which is always the reason I persevere. My husband, children, siblings, and the extended family we have grown into make me want to extend time beyond any boundaries illness creates.
I am keenly aware of the joy of laughter, the contentment of quiet moments in shared spaces, and the peace that comes with love.
“Time” has indeed become precious.
The irony of life and the words that fill it will forever give me pause.
Although cancer has made me pray to be unremarkable, the life that God has given me is truly remarkable, and I am forever grateful.
Anne Zuschlag is the principal of Our Lady Queen of Martyrs Catholic Academy in Forest Hills.