by Father Patrick Longalong

Sometimes the person who says “no” is the one who eventually shows up, while the person who eagerly says “yes” is nowhere to be found. We naturally feel encouraged by an immediate yes and disappointed by an initial refusal. But experience teaches us not to judge people by their first answer.

What ultimately matters is whether their words become faithful action. 

I remember asking a parishioner to help with an event. He immediately answered, “Father, I cannot do it. I am too busy that day.” When he returned home and checked his calendar, however, he realized that the commitment he was thinking about was actually scheduled for the following week. Finding himself free, he came early on the day of the event, helped arrange the room, served the guests, and stayed afterward to clean. Meanwhile, some of the people who had quickly and enthusiastically said yes simply forgot to show up or had a sudden change of plans. 

That experience reminded me not to give up on people. Sometimes we simply need to give them time and continue walking with them until they are ready. His first answer was no, but his actions became a generous yes.

That is the point of Jesus’ parable about the two sons. The first son refuses his father’s request but later changes his mind and goes to work in the vineyard. The second son answers respectfully, “Yes, sir,” but never goes.  

When Jesus asks which one did the father’s will, the answer is obvious: the one who finally acted. Jesus directs this parable toward religious leaders who knew the proper words and observed the outward forms of religion, yet refused to respond when God called them to conversion. Meanwhile, tax collectors and prostitutes, people publicly regarded as sinners, listened to John the Baptist, repented, and began to live differently. 

The Gospel is not praising rebellion or suggesting that our first refusal does not matter. It proclaims that, with God, our first answer does not have to be our final answer. Ezekiel makes the same point. A virtuous person can turn away from righteousness, while a sinner can turn away from sin and choose what is right. We are not trapped forever by yesterday’s failures, nor can we rely forever on yesterday’s faithfulness. Each day God gives us another opportunity to turn toward Him. 

This is both consoling and challenging. It is consoling because none of us is beyond redemption. Perhaps we have resisted God, neglected prayer, damaged a relationship, or postponed something we knew was right. We can still change direction. But it is challenging because faith cannot remain merely a promise. Saying that we love God means little if we refuse to forgive, ignore someone in need, or avoid responsibilities requiring patience and sacrifice. 

St. Paul shows us what our “yes” should look like. In Philippians, he calls us to have the same mind as Christ, who emptied himself, became a servant, and was obedient even to death on a cross. Jesus did not merely speak about love; he embodied it through active, self-giving obedience. 

Perhaps someone’s first answer has disappointed us. Before giving up, let us remember that God did not give up on us when we resisted Him. He remained patient and allowed us time to respond. Let us offer others that same patience. A “no” spoken yesterday can still become a faithful “yes” today. 

Father Longalong is the pastor of St. Nicholas of Tolentine in Jamaica and coordinator of the Ministry to Filipino Immigrants.